We honor our dead in an effort to keep them alive in the hearts and minds of our future generations. We also know that remembrance of our ancestors, in some way, impacts the quality of their existence after they have passed on. Some folks may visit the graves of their fallen and connect with them where they lie. Others may construct a family altar to invoke a sacred space for remembering family. How is it, then, that most will look past the opportunity to remember those family members while they are still alive? I find myself guilty of this today. I have been putting together plans for the construction of a family altar, in order to focus my meditation on the remembrance of my ancestors. I’ve even gone so far as to reserve spaces in my altar for those in my blood line that have not yet passed on. I think of all those that have passed and what I might say to them in conversation. If I were to have the opportunity, would I be able to restrain myself from embracing them and showing them how much I love and respect them? But those are questions that I don’t have to ask with those family members who are still very much alive and well today. I think of how fondly I remember those men and women that I no longer have the opportunity to interact with in the flesh. I would give anything for just one more moment with them. But is that how we treat each other when we are among the living? Did those who pass on have a sense of how loved they were, or did we even give them a clue that we did? These are difficult questions to ask. Obviously, not everyone gets along all of the time. In my family alone, there are full on battles being waged among kin. There are also passive-aggressive battles going on between several different people all the time. The drama is enough to make us go insane, but we should be reminded that death conquers all. One day, this person or that person will be placed in the ground. One day, we will not have the opportunity to embrace someone who we love. One day it will be too late. We don’t always have to get along but we should be aware that there will be a point in time when there are no chances left to “bury the hatchet”. we don’t have to dishonor ourselves in order to make someone else happy, but we should all know that, whatever issues are preventing us from maintaining cordial relationships, we are family. We are kin. We are loved, and we love.
Our Family Tradition 